The quote database with teeth.

Israel, then, rather than some kind of Jewish achievement or prophetic triumph, looks to me more like a huge monument to Western anti-Semitism.
Rootless Cosmopolitan - By Tony Karon » Blog Arch…
May 2
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Wednesday
Many Americans are beginning to sense that there are cracks in the dam, and the more agitated seem very often to be on the verge of panic, but we are neither the concrete nor the downstream bystanders about to be swallowed up in the flood. We’re the water behind the motherfucker.
Who Is IOZ?: No Controlling Legal Authority
Apr 2
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28
Monday
Sometimes, to convince the Emperor that those who sold him his new clothes have deceived him, and that he is, in fact, naked, it becomes necessary to describe his genitalia.
How to Beat the Preliminary Credibility Assessmen…
Apr 2
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19
Saturday
Consider this: a lottery once a year, eligible to any person with any share in any public company, whose prize is the right to hunt down and shoot the chief executive of any company in which he's currently got a share. Value added.
Who Is IOZ?: Prevention
Apr 2
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7
Monday
The question is not, “How can I get a decent rock in the Hill District at two in the morning?” Rather, it is “Why the fuck am I in the Hill District trying to buy a rock at two in the morning?”
Who Is IOZ?: No, But I Can Sell You This Crack
Apr 2
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4
Friday
Saying that Hillary has Executive Branch experience is like saying Yoko Ono was a Beatle
Daily Kos :: Comments OK, Let's Total It Up
Mar 2
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Wednesday
If we wish to incrementally improve lives around the world, we can buy and sell with them on fair and equitable terms, and we can reopen our borders. All else is folly. With guns.
Who Is IOZ?: Who Is My Neighbor?
Mar 2
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Tuesday
“Oh, that’s sad. I wasn’t aware Mr. Gygax was unwell. I’m genuinely sorry for your loss, pussies and faggots.”
Dungeons & Dragons Creator Dies | The Onion - Ame…
Mar 2
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Friday
You can be the baddest motherfucker on the block or a trembling maid. Trying to be both just makes you look silly.

[Anonymous comment on post.]

Who Is IOZ?: Okay, So, Like . . .
Mar 2
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Saturday
It is neither the cleanliness nor the modernity that defines the place, but the detention. There are perfectly sterile, orderly, well-run, brightly lit abbatoirs; none of those adjectives alters the fact that throats are slit and blood drained into bins on the floor.
Who Is IOZ?: It Was Only a Paper Moon
Feb 2
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Monday
 
 

Submit a punch line.

Punch line

URI of original source

Explanation (rarely necessary, e.g. to clarify a date, pronoun, or personage)

FAQ.

What is a punchline?

punch line
1921, a specific phrase or sentence which hammers home the point.

A punch line is a short, idealized quote which is often the dénouement of a joke or essay. Um… okay, we better add that.

dénouement
the unraveling or untying of the complexities of a plot.

Punch lines can be a beautiful or startling twist of phrase. A newly minted neologism that isn't the sux0r. A shaft of light stabbing out the gloom. This is the place to share them. This is the place to find them.

A punch line should be as short as possible. One sentence is ideal. Two is fine. Three is getting long. Four means you misunderstand what a punch line is. They should be quotable, not just simply inflamatory or harsh. You are given a little leeway but keep it short and sweet!

Is a punch line just a quote? Yes, no. Depends.

How do I submit one? Use the “Submit a punch line” form above. You'll be asked for the punch line and the URL where you found it. You may provide an explanation but don’t unless it absolutely needs one.

May I submit my own? Sure! Make it good.

Are the moderated? This is not currently a moderated site. That will change if it is abused.

Can I edit the punch line. You may clip out irrelevant content for length with an ellipsis, “…” You may make simple changes like changing a pronoun to the noun it represents for clarity. E.g.–

The U.S. has many problems. It has 50 of them.

–could be chopped down, badly but not incorrectly, to read–

[The U.S.] has 50 [problems].

Trouble shooting.

My punch line won’t submit.

  • The punch line is not found on the URI you gave.
  • Punch lines will only be retrieved from URIs with http or https schemas.
  • The site the punch line is on is members only so our checker could not get in to verify it.
  • The site the punch line is on is JavaScript, Flash, or otherwise not HTML and our checker couldn’t read it.
  • The punch line validator will not return super huge pages. You should use the definitive source and not an index containing many different articles.
  • The page the punch line is on must have a <title>title</title>.
  • You have tried to enter broken XHTML like <i>neither italic, nor bold</b>.
  • Our code is maybe buggy still…

About this site.

3 February 2008. It is new. It uses Catalyst and jQuery and some other open source goodies. Things may change considerably as we progress. Have fun!

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