The quote database with teeth.

I wanted to see Detroit win. I've been there. It's like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news.
Justin (shitmydadsays) on Twitter
Dec 2
0
0
9
4
Friday
And when you only give data to friends of yours, and not to people who actually might take a critical look at it, you know what you end up with? A “consensus” …
Willis Eschenbach’s FOI Request « Climate Audit –…
Nov 2
0
0
9
25
Wednesday
1842 - Ada Lovelace writes the first program. She is hampered in her efforts by the minor inconvenience that she doesn't have any actual computers to run her code. Enterprise architects will later relearn her techniques in order to program in UML.
One Div Zero: A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wro…
May 2
0
0
9
10
Sunday
So, losers like me will spend these final days watching this wave rise and crest, noting its velocity, awaiting its crash. For once Obama's sworn in, the wave will become a cesspool of shattered fantasies, feeding resentment not of Obama and his inner-circle, but of those who said all along that "change" was a sham.
Dennis Perrin: Dispatch The Ether Trucks
Oct 2
0
0
8
13
Monday
Since despite the best wishes of our humanitarian interventionists there is not yet any such thing as prophylaxis in war, I think an elementary fact bears repeating: withdrawal after insertion is precautionarily irrelevant, and your best bet, albeit still a lousy one, is haste.
Who Is IOZ?: Les trois ours
May 2
0
0
8
30
Friday
Probably something like, “My fellow Americans, you’d better break out the hoes and start tilling those half-acre lots.”
Who Is IOZ?: Flight Test
May 2
0
0
8
28
Wednesday
Israel, then, rather than some kind of Jewish achievement or prophetic triumph, looks to me more like a huge monument to Western anti-Semitism.
Rootless Cosmopolitan - By Tony Karon » Blog Arch…
May 2
0
0
8
14
Wednesday
Many Americans are beginning to sense that there are cracks in the dam, and the more agitated seem very often to be on the verge of panic, but we are neither the concrete nor the downstream bystanders about to be swallowed up in the flood. We’re the water behind the motherfucker.
Who Is IOZ?: No Controlling Legal Authority
Apr 2
0
0
8
28
Monday
Sometimes, to convince the Emperor that those who sold him his new clothes have deceived him, and that he is, in fact, naked, it becomes necessary to describe his genitalia.
How to Beat the Preliminary Credibility Assessmen…
Apr 2
0
0
8
19
Saturday
Consider this: a lottery once a year, eligible to any person with any share in any public company, whose prize is the right to hunt down and shoot the chief executive of any company in which he's currently got a share. Value added.
Who Is IOZ?: Prevention
Apr 2
0
0
8
7
Monday
 
 

Submit a punch line.

Punch line

URI of original source

Explanation (rarely necessary, e.g. to clarify a date, pronoun, or personage)

FAQ.

What is a punchline?

punch line
1921, a specific phrase or sentence which hammers home the point.

A punch line is a short, idealized quote which is often the dénouement of a joke or essay. Um… okay, we better add that.

dénouement
the unraveling or untying of the complexities of a plot.

Punch lines can be a beautiful or startling twist of phrase. A newly minted neologism that isn't the sux0r. A shaft of light stabbing out the gloom. This is the place to share them. This is the place to find them.

A punch line should be as short as possible. One sentence is ideal. Two is fine. Three is getting long. Four means you misunderstand what a punch line is. They should be quotable, not just simply inflamatory or harsh. You are given a little leeway but keep it short and sweet!

Is a punch line just a quote? Yes, no. Depends.

How do I submit one? Use the “Submit a punch line” form above. You'll be asked for the punch line and the URL where you found it. You may provide an explanation but don’t unless it absolutely needs one.

May I submit my own? Sure! Make it good.

Are the moderated? This is not currently a moderated site. That will change if it is abused.

Can I edit the punch line. You may clip out irrelevant content for length with an ellipsis, “…” You may make simple changes like changing a pronoun to the noun it represents for clarity. E.g.–

The U.S. has many problems. It has 50 of them.

–could be chopped down, badly but not incorrectly, to read–

[The U.S.] has 50 [problems].

Trouble shooting.

My punch line won’t submit.

  • The punch line is not found on the URI you gave.
  • Punch lines will only be retrieved from URIs with http or https schemas.
  • The site the punch line is on is members only so our checker could not get in to verify it.
  • The site the punch line is on is JavaScript, Flash, or otherwise not HTML and our checker couldn’t read it.
  • The punch line validator will not return super huge pages. You should use the definitive source and not an index containing many different articles.
  • The page the punch line is on must have a <title>title</title>.
  • You have tried to enter broken XHTML like <i>neither italic, nor bold</b>.
  • Our code is maybe buggy still…

About this site.

3 February 2008. It is new. It uses Catalyst and jQuery and some other open source goodies. Things may change considerably as we progress. Have fun!

Sign-in.